My momma raised me to be a good Southern girl, polite and kind. My manners were spotless for years, even after moving from Alabama. Call me Miss Manners! But then, ooohh-ho-ho, but then this city I'm living in just beat those manners right out of me! And not because people in this city are jerks - New Yorkers are friendly. Drives me crazy when people rag on New Yorkers.
They are just...in a hurry...always.
Yes, some manners must be forfeit when living in the city. You can't survive otherwise. Here's some of the manners you gotta forget to make it in this concrete jungle:
Waiting your turn: If I actually waited my turn for anything in this city, I'd still be in line to swipe my card at the subway turnstile, I'd still be in line to get out of the subway turnstile, and I'd still be in line to buy that dollar slice of pizza. Other than the checkout line at Trader Joe's, you don't wait politely for your turn - you seize the opportunity as it comes! That's right, you aren't being rude - you are merely seizing the day!
No pushing: Similar to waiting your turn, I would n-e-v-e-r have e-v-e-r gotten on the subway car if I never pushed. And I would n-e-v-e-r have e-v-e-r gotten off the subway car if I never pushed. Ever been on a crowded train at rush hour? Pushing is a necessity. Not rough, two-handed pushing, more like, gentle nudging to let fellow passengers know you are trying to get around them. "Excuse me" doesn't work when their earbuds emit music that can be heard 10 feet away. So, you "nudge."
Looking people in the eye: I learned this one the hard way. The first time I came to the city, when I was 19, I still had my Southern-mentality of looking and talking to everyone that looks and talks to you. That doesn't not work in Times Square! Do you know how many street vendors and hawkers call to people walking around? Do you know how they will pursue you if you actually look at them? I could barely shake some of them off! Blerg. Therefore, I quickly learned not to look at people on the streets. People could offer me all I've ever dreamed of and more, I'd just blaze on right past. Far cry from saying "hello" and waving to everyone you came across on the streets, like I did growing up.
So here I am now - a cold, jaded New Yorker. Always in a hurry, always in a rush.
One of my happiest moments, when unbidden, I yelled out, "hey! I'm walking here!" :)
When I used to work on cruise lines in the Caribbean {12 years ago?!?!?!} I used to tell people DO NOT LOOK AT THE LOCALS when we went to Jamaica. They are vultures. They will actually grab on to your hand and literally not let go. Trying to get you to buy their crap. Kind of scary. Just keep your eyes forward, head down, and move fast. Don't believe a word they say or you'll end up paying $20 for a cab ride around the corner.
ReplyDeleteI am from Kansas and visited NYC for the first time over winter. I fell in love with the city, my boyfriend practically grew up there so it was such a great trip for us. I was soooo excited to learn that the New Yorkers I ran into were more than kind, they went out of their way to make sure we knew where we were going and even took time to explain how to get around. The police were even better! I just fell in love with everything!
ReplyDeleteIt was a little strange to have all personal space gone but I was just in love with everything!
Haha! YOU ARE ONE OF THOSE SHOVERS.
ReplyDeleteBut I totally agree. You either have to be aggressive or else everyone else will step all over you! Love this post :)
Great post. Also, I agree the New Yorkers are kind. And I find it cute that you say hello (or at least used to) to everyone you pass by. For sure not something that I grew up with!
ReplyDeleteLOL this is awesome. When we moved to the suburbs post-nyc liz was totally confused how to interact with neighbors: "do you wave EVERY TIME you walk to your car and see them?" "Do you have to converse with EVERYONE who strikes up conversation with you?"
ReplyDeleteHahaha! Awesome. So is that why everyone is New York seems to be wearing sunglasses all the time? To avoid eye contact?
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